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#1 2018-09-19 12:26:00

BlisaMarshmellow
Member
From: The State of Confusion
Registered: 2016-12-14
Posts: 1,295

I just can't right now, guys.... (9.19.2018)

(I wasn't sure if this should go in here or the RP Chat, so I just decided to stick it here.)

Y'all are probably thinking that this has to do with some kind of OOC MUCK drama.  Or maybe I'm quitting the MUCK.  Or maybe it's about the LP post thing under the RP Chat.  Or perhaps I've even had some trouble with another player being a jerk.

It's none of those things at all, although it does affect how I might respond to them.

The reason that I just can't right now started back around the time of July 4th of this year.  My outdoor cat got a weird injury, but we thought he'd get better. 

But then it got infected.  As some of you know, my family can't afford internet at home or air conditioning.  We also can't afford vet bills, so we had to hope that he would get better.  I got in contact with a local nonprofit to see if they could help us.  But so was like 90% of the people in our area, apparently, because they couldn't arrange a time to help us until this month.  In the meantime, my kitty just got sicker and sicker.

Then he disappeared for a week.  I was frantic, and had no idea what to do.  Had he been taken to the vet without my family knowing?  Had he been hit by a car in another block?  Had someone intentionally killed him (there are evil people in my neighbourhood who abuse cats, so that's entirely a possibility)?  He was missing for a week.

But then he came back this past Monday, so weak he could barely walk, so injured he couldn't eat, wouldn't drink.  We did all we could to alleviate his suffering and keep the flies away.  But by this morning he was dead.

I've felt so helpless for the past 2 months, and now.....I'm not even sure what I'm feeling.
And I'm not sure I have what it takes to do much on here right now.

I know there are some forums posts that I need to look at, people are probably anxiously waiting for me to respond to the LP post, I probably have approximately 1 trillion pmails I need to read.....but I just can't.  At least not today.  I'll do my best to read logs, but that's about all I feel up to doing today.  I'm sorry.  I'll try to RP tomorrow; I'm not sure how well I'll do, but I'll try.  Maybe after RPing for a little bit, I'll feel up to checking out those forums posts.

And of course my cat suffering to death is just the latest IRL thing to be thrown at me.  This week has been terrible....

And before anyone says anything, please watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw It's only about 3 minutes long.  There are a couple of longer ones out there that are her whole talk to a group about empathy and blame and stuff, which are also very good.  But I think that short video is a good place to start for people who want to try and help someone feel better.  Just please don't be the antelope/goat thing; nobody likes her tongue

And now I have to go email the lady at the nonprofit and let her know that my kitty doesn't need help anymore.....

Everything is terrible.  Let me cry in peace </3 :'(

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#2 2018-10-03 11:55:31

BlisaMarshmellow
Member
From: The State of Confusion
Registered: 2016-12-14
Posts: 1,295

Re: I just can't right now, guys.... (9.19.2018)

So, I have about 2 and a half hours to RP today, but I want you guys to know that I may be kind of depressed and/or angry today.  It's not the fault of anyone on here; this week we lost an entire litter of kittens (why the mommy cat was having them in the Autumn, I don't know).  I don't know all the details, but they were probably suffering when they died.  The entire litter.  So I'm extremely distressed about that.  And since I sort of use RP to help myself process stuff (sorry, I usually don't even know I'm doing it), my characters may be a bit crazier than usual for a little bit. :'( sad >:|

(And I'd rather not talk about it.  But thanks anyway <3)

Last edited by BlisaMarshmellow (2018-10-03 11:59:37)

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#3 2019-12-04 18:42:37

BlisaMarshmellow
Member
From: The State of Confusion
Registered: 2016-12-14
Posts: 1,295

Re: I just can't right now, guys.... (9.19.2018)

Hey, y'all.

As some of you know, I named DoraRose after 2 cats.

Rose was a kitten who died when she was about 5 weeks old.

Dora...died on Monday night.  She'd been suffering for a while, and she died in my arms.  She was my best friend; she saved me from suicide multiple times years ago.  I love her, and I miss her so bad.  I'm about to cry just typing this.  The past few days have been so hard.  I think I'll be able to RP, but I'm not sure I'll be on as D.R. for a little bit.  She's not going anywhere; I just may not be able to RP as her, is all.  I know I'll be able to at some point....just not maybe for a few weeks.

I also may have trouble RPing; I'm struggling to focus on my schoolwork, so I may also struggle to focus on RPs.  I will do my best, but I thought I'd warn y'all.

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#4 2019-12-08 07:13:23

aeysin
Administrator
From: North Woods
Registered: 2016-11-18
Posts: 79
Website

Re: I just can't right now, guys.... (9.19.2018)

Sorry to hear about your kitty. Losing an animal friend is hard <3

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#5 2019-12-18 14:59:11

BlisaMarshmellow
Member
From: The State of Confusion
Registered: 2016-12-14
Posts: 1,295

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